So…I’m at the gym. The news is on. Generally, something I avoid. In this instance, a five hundred foot screen in front of my face gives me little choice, Luckily, I have my phone playing music and don’t have to listen to the commentary. Unfortunately, closed captioning keeps me updated. Two experts argue back and forth. They are trying to resolve the current issue dominating the airwaves – police brutality.
Despite my best efforts..I have a thought. As I’m really proud that I had a thought and being that they are so rare I feel compelled to share it with you. I’m thinking, the solution is simpler than these two guys are making it.
You got these people that are out there doing all kinds of crazy things. They’re crazy. They don’t think right. It’s what they do. I don’t want to rid the world of crazy people because they’re fun to watch. I just think there are better ways to deal with them.
So… these nut-cases are doing something crazy, stupid and most probably illegal and somebody calls the police. As they should. In no time, the police arrive. Looking all bad ass, in surplus combat gear.
Now for a moment, pretend you’re this crazy dude. You’re bat-shit crazy, doing crazy things.
You’re thinking – Don’t fuck with me. I’m a bad ass too. The thing is if you had a brain in your head, you’d know you’re going to lose. But, you’re not too smart. You start mouthing off. Maybe even take a swing or two. Because you’re a bad-ass.
On the other hand, you’ve got the cops – dressed in black, carrying pepper spray, a stick to crack heads with, ten gazillion handcuffs, a Taser and a gun all hanging from a utility belt that would make Batman jealous. Here’s my thought, if you look like a bad-ass, well eventually you’re going to act like one and crack some heads, pepper spray some sweet old lady or just shoot the wrong guy. Just because…well…the way I figure it if you look like a duck, you act like a duck. Or in this case, you look like a bad-ass, you start acting like one.
So…here’s my solution and I am not taking sides here. I’m just looking for an impractical solution.
So..let’s just say the cop shows up at the scene dressed like a clown, riding a unicycle and juggling rubber balls.
So…this crazy dude breaks out laughing. He rolls on the ground. Laughing. With tears streaming down his cheeks. His sides hurt. Not from a swift kick to the ribs, but because he’s laughing. He’s no longer a bad-ass, but just a guy that wants to see the rest of the show. A crowd gathers. People shower the cop with tips – Of course being a public servant, officer clown must turn the money in. (Added bonus – eliminates need for speed traps.)
I hear you saying – there are some crazy son of bitches out there and cops need to defend themselves. Hey…lighten up clowns have a trick flower don’t they?
So…If things get rough,